The EGO in the NOW

A text written in July 2008.

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Who am I, or where am I, when I lose myself in time? I assume that my being, my inner truth, is always located in the present moment. So it may be that the biggest obstacle to truly being together with myself is the “NOW”. I keep noticing how I slip into other time zones, which either remind me of past pains or make me painfully miss things that aren't there.

So I am either in the past or in an imaginary future. Both are responsible for my soul pain and the soul pain in turn is the cause of my physical condition. Solely the "NOW" is the present, the lived moment. It is often infinitely difficult to transport my inner knowledge, my essence, into this very present. In other words: the balance between inside and outside is out of balance.

By addressing and understanding this irritation of the balance in the body, it may be possible as well leave the past behind and as allow the future to happen unhindered. This “Now” is beautifully described by Eckhart Tolle: The Now is not a series of moments from which we can choose specific ones, but rather it is ONE continuous moment that is constantly changing. And how it changes depends on us - on me. Because the moment/the present is shaped by the impulses I send out.

In the book “Way of the Peaceful Warrior” by Dan Millman there is also a very nice description of determining one’s location. The question “where are you?”, which seems to be very easy to answer, ends after persistent continuation somewhere in infinity…..

„Where are you?" - "Here in this room."

"Where is this room?" - "In my apartment."

"Where is your apartment?" - "In the house on XY Street."

"Where is this street?" - "In my town."

"Where is your town?" - "In Germany."

"Where is Germany?" - "In Europe."

"Where is Europe?" - "On planet Earth."

"Where is planet Earth?" - "In the universe."

"Where is the universe?" - ?????

So I don't really know where I am finally. Whatever I do or want, I can solely concentrate on ME in this moment.

If I don't really like this present, my Now, and perhaps therefore either look for the reasons for it in the past or try to imagine a future that could be more beautiful, then I displace the Now, do not perceive it and thus bring it to a standstill. This means that everything remains as it is because I am not present in the present and therefore cannot change the present.

The only way to change the present moment is to face it and accept it unconditionally, no matter how bad or unbearable it seems.

Conclusion: I accept the Now and my self in this Now.